


One Day I'll Wake Up and It Won't Hurt Anymore

by Ottermouse



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fantasizing, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Spoilers, realistic ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 10:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ottermouse/pseuds/Ottermouse
Summary: Damien jerks off to the thought of being with Mark.Takes place post Bright Sessions, spoilers for the show.





	One Day I'll Wake Up and It Won't Hurt Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5, which is a great Mark/Damien song

Damien was masturbating.

He rarely ever did it. He wasn’t used to having the desire to even feel compelled to do it. Sure, he’d spent most of his life lonely and all of it single, but it had been years since he’d done this regularly, and even longer since he’d thought about a specific person while doing it.

God, he was pathetic.

But so was this whole situation, getting kicked out of his hometown, carrying the fake papers Sam had provided, using the _car_ Sam had provided. How generous the atypical club could be when they wanted him gone.

Never mind what _he_ wanted.

That’s why he was here, lying on the small, threadbare cot of a cheap motel room while on the way to anywhere but where he had been, hand down his pants thinking about Mark.

The night hadn’t started like this, of course. He’d been planning on spending another night sleeping in the car when he happened to pass by a sign advertising rooms for less than $20 and he’d turned into the lot before thinking about it. It was cheap, but it wasn’t infested with cockroaches, he’d been able to take a shower, and he could actually stretch out to his full height on the bed.

He checked his phone. No calls, no messages. Not that he’d been expecting any. He didn’t even have anyone in his contacts. But he’d hoped- he’d _wanted_ -

He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes. He never had to wish for anything in the past, never had to imagine, or plan for the future. If he wanted it, he got it. But the past few months had flipped that on its head, so Damien let himself indulge in imagination. He closed his eyes, let out a breath, and began to create a scenario in his head:

_His phone rings. He picks up. Its quiet, but he’d recognize that breathing anywhere. He spent months sleeping next to those breaths._

_“Mark,” he’d say. Damien knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist being away from him for so long._

_“Where are you?” Mark would reply, sounding desperate. “I need you.”_

_Damien would give him the address, and Mark would be there soon after (it didn’t matter that they were hundreds of miles away, this was his fantasy, after all). He would hear impatient knocking signaling his arrival._

_Damien would open the door, and Mark would be there, in jeans and a t-shirt, looking gorgeous and horny._

_“I can’t take it anymore,” Mark would say. “I don’t love her. I want_ you _.”_

_And then he would surge forward and kiss Damien._

Now, in reality, Damien had kissed less people than he had fingers on one hand. All of them short, none of them passionate or heated or leading to something more, and all of them ultimately ending in disaster. They’d never truly found him attractive, only because he’d wanted them to, and as soon as they were far enough away from his influence, they’d reject him. But in his fantasy, nobody would reject him. 

_Damien would pull Mark into the room, quickly kicking the door shut behind him. Mark would press their lips together, hands on his cheeks, making submissive little whimpering sounds. They would separate briefly so they could pull each others’ shirts off._

Keeping his eyes closed, Damien flung his actual shirt to the floor, quickly lying back down, hands roaming and touching his chest, pretending they were someone else’s.

 _Mark would feel him, and he would feel Mark back, hands going from his face to his neck to his chest to his shoulders to his back to his ass, and just_ grabbing _._

_“I want you so much,” he’d growl._

_“I want you, too,” would be the breathless reply._

Damien slid his hand into his boxers, taking out his semi-hard cock and wrapping his hand around it, He didn’t have lube, so he just squeezed it. The pressure would have to do for now. 

_He would back into the bed, pulling Mark down with him. The mattress would be thick, bouncy, comfortable, large with plush blankets and pillows. Mark would be on top of him, straddling his waist and rutting against him (they lose their pants at some point, doesn’t matter). He could feel how hard Mark was, how attracted to him he was._

_Mark would kiss him again, saying, “I want you so much, I_ want _you._ I _want you. I want_ you, _Damien. Only you. I can’t stop thinking about you, even when you’re far away, I can_ feel _it, and it’s_ real, _Damien. What I feel for you is_ real.”

A half choked whimper escaped from Damien’s mouth, and he was barely able to register that it came from him. He didn’t want to stop, but his dry hand on his dry dick was becoming painful. He spit on his hand as much as he could before returning to pumping it. It wasn’t too effective, but it got the job done, and that was all Damien could care about in the moment.

_Mark was sucking on his neck, one forearm propping him up while his other hand was wrapped around both their dicks. They frotted against each other as Mark moaned, “I’d do anything for you. I want to be with you always. I love you, Damien.”_

“M-Mark!” The strangled cry fell from his lips.

It was the most intense orgasm he’d had in a long, long time. His entire body shuddered, breaths coming out in labored gasps through clenched teeth. His mind exploded into a thousand shocks of pleasure, no longer seeing the scene he had set before himself. He continued to stroke his dick, a futile effort to try and extend the orgasm, to never have to come down from the high. 

“Mark… Mark, _Mark,_ ” he whined into the empty air above him. 

It was over.

All he felt now was hot and sweaty and wet and embarrassed. 

What _was_ that? Did he really just… cum to the thought of Mark Bryant saying that he _loved_ him?

 _He couldn’t stop at breaking just my powers. He had to go and break my fucking brain, too,_ Damien thought as he wiped the cum on his hand onto the motel sheets. He rolled over, blinking into the darkness.

He was alone again. He’d always been alone. Even when people gave him whatever he wanted he’d still been alone. Those few months with Mark were the only time he’d been _with_ someone, thinking back on it.

He probably shouldn’t even think about Mark anymore. Not after this. He didn’t _want_ to think about Mark anymore and especially not in that way. Those feelings, he didn’t recognize them and there was no way they could be real, right? He didn’t… really _want_ Mark. He didn’t want Mark to be there, to wake up next to him, to watch him as he dressed, as he brushed his teeth, to count the little brown dots on his back, to slide their hands together, to hold him, to kiss him-

It didn’t matter anymore. And would continue to not matter for a long time to come. God knew everyone thought he deserved it. He’d tried to make amends- he’d left them alone for god’s sake! And they forced him out of the city as their thanks. 

He took the flat pillow out from under his head and wrapped his arms around it.

 _Pathetic,_ he thought to himself.

He pulled it closer into his chest, burying his forehead in it. Without thinking he gently kissed the pillow case. He tightened his grip on it, curling his body into a ball, and willed himself to try to go to sleep.

Time would heal this wound.

It had to.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something that acknowledged how Damien is canonically attracted to Mark, but also didn't erase the fact that he literally abused his power throughout the show. A bit of a sad ending but I hope you all enjoyed it :)


End file.
